So yesterday was a bit of a disaster. I had gotten through the day with quinoa 300cal, 2 apples at 100 each and a bit of spinach and balsamic vinegar. Perfectly acceptable. AND THEN my boyfriend who knew I had had one hell of a terrible day proceeded to surprise me with homemade onion rings. This. Is. BAD. I mean, REALLY BAD. #1 My boy NEVER cooks for me because he's lazy/afraid he's terrible (which he isn't). #2 this is a GRAND GESTURE on his part, and really does happen once in a blue moon. Usually I'm the one to bake him cookies or pick him up a concert ticket or something that I know he'll appreciate. He's not one for remembering things like this, OR cooking... Crap. So of course I felt terrible, so guilty in fact that I ate most of them. Bringing my caloric total up to 2300ish. FUCK FUCK FUCK. How could I have let my fat ass anywhere near those? For fuck's sake! I had convinced myself that I was going to be okay too... we were watching a movie and I figured he would eat most of them by himself without noticing I hadn't had many, if any at all. But nope. Boyfriend was attentive. Apparently he had eaten all of his before and all of these were for me. Fuck fuck fuck. To make a long story short, I fucked up, hard.
This morning I woke up, expecting the worst. So imagine my surprise when I weighed in at 151, down 2 from yesterday morning! Must've been some kind of fluke. OR that salt water flush that I did yesterday morning, BEFORE consuming all this extra crap did wonders for me in cleaning out my system. Kind of gross to think of all that extra junk that was just sitting in there. I hate the feeling of having food inside me. Of feeling bloated, full and just shitty in general. *sigh* Anyway, I have made a vow that since I was somehow granted mercy for my MAJOR fuck up, I can't let that chance get away from me again! I'm not screwing it up this time. Today so far has been pretty good... hopefully will get a chance to get to the gym after my late class tonight!
xo, Gracie
well at least your boy loves you enough to not care if your gaining or losing. That's a nice upside. Plus those homemade onion rings sound good...no wonder you could resist. Just try to do better tomorrow :)
ReplyDeleteawe! i wouldn't worry much about those onion rings then. he's such a sweetheart. homemade onion rings do sound, as SN said!
ReplyDeletehope you do well tomorrow, Gracie, darling! <3
with much love,
-Sam Lupin
Yeah-- I'm really glad he doesn't seem to notice either way. He's convinced I'm fine whatever size I am. (And believe me, he's seen either extremes..) This weekend I'm buckling down! There's nothing like good old self-punishment. Gym, here I come!
ReplyDelete