past few days

There was a sudden death (suicide) in my close extended family this weekend. I"ve been out of town. It's all been a blur. I know nothing. What are numbers? 

Binge

all together now...

I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.I ate less than yesterday, please God let that number be lower tomorrow morning.

the end.

xo, Gracie

retain, retain, gain?

Attempted the salt water flush again last night to no avail. But actually, nothing came out. Now I'm retaining water like crazy-- woke up at 153! ACK! NOTHING with any sodium at all today, I'm sticking mostly to fruit. Thanksgiving weekend, I will conquer YOU!

On a completely separate note, I've been feeling super frustrated with my lack of exercise lately. Usually I love running but I seem to have fallen off the wagon this week! Ack! Midterms are probably the worst for this kind of shit. I get completely absorbed in school and everything else falls apart! I'm up late, usually bingeing, and a complete lazy slob. FUCK. No excuses, Grace, this is NEVER acceptable. 

So far have had a handful of peanuts. Hopefully going to get me thru this am's mad study session. Have to stay away from fridge. And under NO circumstances will I go to boy's house. He hardly has fruit/veggies/soup and usually ends up eating pasta/KD crap when I'm around for lack of anything else. On the bright side, I'm veg so I won't touch the meat stuff, but I need to develop a little more willpower if I'm going to be over this weekend. The stress is KILLING ME! If only I were strong.... if only I were strong...

153 is a truly depressing number.

xo, Gracie

Thanksgiving HO!

Down again this morning to 150! Now if only I can break into the 140s by the end of this weekend? A little too soon? Possibly, but here's hoping! Consumed 1300 yesterday and 1300 today. I'm being watched by family as I'm home for Canadian thanksgiving this weekend. Anyways, much LONGER post tomorrow, I promise! Hopefully I can manage to get thru this weekend without gaining!

xo, Gracie

PS/ Formatting.

I think I'm going to start posting at the end of the day with my intake/daily weight... that way all my stats for the day are in one post! Much cleaner & more organized!

xo, Gracie

FUCK YOU ONION RINGS/Miracles happen?

So yesterday was a bit of a disaster. I had gotten through the day with quinoa 300cal, 2 apples at 100 each and a bit of spinach and balsamic vinegar. Perfectly acceptable. AND THEN my boyfriend who knew I had had one hell of a terrible day proceeded to surprise me with homemade onion rings. This. Is. BAD. I mean, REALLY BAD. #1 My boy NEVER cooks for me because he's lazy/afraid he's terrible (which he isn't). #2 this is a GRAND GESTURE on his part, and really does happen once in a blue moon. Usually I'm the one to bake him cookies or pick him up a concert ticket or something that I know he'll appreciate. He's not one for remembering things like this, OR cooking... Crap. So of course I felt terrible, so guilty in fact that I ate most of them. Bringing my caloric total up to 2300ish. FUCK FUCK FUCK. How could I have let my fat ass anywhere near those? For fuck's sake! I had convinced myself that I was going to be okay too... we were watching a movie and I figured he would eat most of them by himself without noticing I hadn't had many, if any at all. But nope. Boyfriend was attentive. Apparently he had eaten all of his before and all of these were for me. Fuck fuck fuck. To make a long story short, I fucked up, hard.

This morning I woke up, expecting the worst. So imagine my surprise when I weighed in at 151, down 2 from yesterday morning! Must've been some kind of fluke. OR that salt water flush that I did yesterday morning, BEFORE consuming all this extra crap did wonders for me in cleaning out my system. Kind of gross to think of all that extra junk that was just sitting in there. I hate the feeling of having food inside me. Of feeling bloated, full and just shitty in general. *sigh* Anyway, I have made a vow that since I was somehow granted mercy for my MAJOR fuck up, I can't let that chance get away from me again! I'm not screwing it up this time. Today so far has been pretty good... hopefully will get a chance to get to the gym after my late class tonight!

xo, Gracie

Salt Water Flush

Good morning! Or should I say good afternoon-- this morning I did a salt water flush in order to rid my body of all the junk that's been building up these past few weeks. The way I see it, I'm giving myself a little kick-start. It's nice to feel clean inside. For those of you who have never done a Salt water flush, the recipe is really easy. 

Salt Water Flush

2tsp natural sea salt (You can use normal table salt too, it's really all the same)

1 quart water (4 cups)

Mix together the salt and the water, usually the salt dissolves faster in warm water and add lemon juice to help with the taste. Consume ALL within 15 minutes and then go lie on your right side for a half hour. It should usually start to work within 1-2 hours. 

Hurray for clean digestive systems! 

Okay-- now on to my weigh in; 153lbs.

Food plan for the day-- mostly raw fruits/veggies :)

Will post another food update tonight or perhaps tomorrow morning with my new wt!

Stay strong!

xo, Gracie

Intervention A&E-- Sonia and Julia

http://www.aetv.com/intervention/video/index.jsp?bcpid=741496469001&bclid=866087444001&bctid=866162230001&baseURL=/bcconfig/Player/3Tier/Intervention_3Tws/config-xml/&baseDIR=/bcplayers/Player/3Tier_ws/baseDIR/

Fresh start.... it's about time!

We all need a fresh start. Me in particular. This school year has really been kicking my ass. More so because I've been so incredibly lazy. SO SO lazy. This past week in particular has been killing me, I haven't been managing my time properly and so I've dug myself a hole of unhealthy eating habits, unhealthy food and an unhealthy lack of proper exercise. This is my vow to YOU, my dear skinnies.... NO MORE LAZINESS. NO MORE EXCUSES. This is a journey to a new me. To a new life. To a fresh start. Who's with me? I've decided in order to keep myself accountable I will be posting my full stats here for y'all. Every day. Without fail. More importantly, without failing. This is my last day of shit eating. 

So here's the plan. 

-12o for New Years. NO EXCUSES.

-work out 6x/week. 

-MAX caloric intake 1200

-daily postings on food, exercise and weight for accountability

Starting stats: (As of this morning) Weight: 154lbs (petrifying how high that number is...)


xo, Gracie