So yesterday was a bit of a disaster. I had gotten through the day with quinoa 300cal, 2 apples at 100 each and a bit of spinach and balsamic vinegar. Perfectly acceptable. AND THEN my boyfriend who knew I had had one hell of a terrible day proceeded to surprise me with homemade onion rings. This. Is. BAD. I mean, REALLY BAD. #1 My boy NEVER cooks for me because he's lazy/afraid he's terrible (which he isn't). #2 this is a GRAND GESTURE on his part, and really does happen once in a blue moon. Usually I'm the one to bake him cookies or pick him up a concert ticket or something that I know he'll appreciate. He's not one for remembering things like this, OR cooking... Crap. So of course I felt terrible, so guilty in fact that I ate most of them. Bringing my caloric total up to 2300ish. FUCK FUCK FUCK. How could I have let my fat ass anywhere near those? For fuck's sake! I had convinced myself that I was going to be okay too... we were watching a movie and I figured he would eat most of them by himself without noticing I hadn't had many, if any at all. But nope. Boyfriend was attentive. Apparently he had eaten all of his before and all of these were for me. Fuck fuck fuck. To make a long story short, I fucked up, hard.
This morning I woke up, expecting the worst. So imagine my surprise when I weighed in at 151, down 2 from yesterday morning! Must've been some kind of fluke. OR that salt water flush that I did yesterday morning, BEFORE consuming all this extra crap did wonders for me in cleaning out my system. Kind of gross to think of all that extra junk that was just sitting in there. I hate the feeling of having food inside me. Of feeling bloated, full and just shitty in general. *sigh* Anyway, I have made a vow that since I was somehow granted mercy for my MAJOR fuck up, I can't let that chance get away from me again! I'm not screwing it up this time. Today so far has been pretty good... hopefully will get a chance to get to the gym after my late class tonight!
xo, Gracie
just a girl. Struggling, and seeking support in a place of chaotic, disordered minds.
Showing posts with label lazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lazy. Show all posts
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
Fresh start.... it's about time!
We all need a fresh start. Me in particular. This school year has really been kicking my ass. More so because I've been so incredibly lazy. SO SO lazy. This past week in particular has been killing me, I haven't been managing my time properly and so I've dug myself a hole of unhealthy eating habits, unhealthy food and an unhealthy lack of proper exercise. This is my vow to YOU, my dear skinnies.... NO MORE LAZINESS. NO MORE EXCUSES. This is a journey to a new me. To a new life. To a fresh start. Who's with me? I've decided in order to keep myself accountable I will be posting my full stats here for y'all. Every day. Without fail. More importantly, without failing. This is my last day of shit eating.
So here's the plan.
-12o for New Years. NO EXCUSES.
-work out 6x/week.
-MAX caloric intake 1200
-daily postings on food, exercise and weight for accountability
Starting stats: (As of this morning) Weight: 154lbs (petrifying how high that number is...)
xo, Gracie
xo, Gracie
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